Too much gin, very little bucket
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
