he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
