hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The power of my boobs compel you
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
