so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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