I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
