Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
