His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
