Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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