he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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