I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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