The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
