Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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