the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
