Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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