tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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