If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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