I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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