yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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