It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
