i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
