I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
