i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
