so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
