is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize