The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize
