Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
