Well douche your snatch and let's go!
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
