haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
