So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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