I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
