it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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