My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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