I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How does one acquire holy water?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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