come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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