They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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