Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize