I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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