found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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