1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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