Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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