He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
