scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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