I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
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