Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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