when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Randomize
