Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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