shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
