I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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