I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
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the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
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Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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