i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Sex in the backyard? Check.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
