yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she pinky promised me she was 18
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
