Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
