The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
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