You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
