i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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