Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
