He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
